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Viseu, Pará, 12.31.23, 10:04 a.m.

For reasons publicly unknown, our bleeder waltzed into this mellow supermarket and got stabby with a large employee who was able to wrestle the blade from him and do a little poking himself.

Lesson learned: If you can't bring enough knives for everyone at the party, then just stay home. Selfish.

Stabby McStab is charged with attempted murder.

@jinder317 loves the news.