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A story by Charredtorso

While managing the mortuary on the central coast of California, we had a woman die at her house. On arrival there were several family members in the home she lived in by herself. The family said that she wanted to be cremated and would come into my office to complete arrangements later in the day.

When they got to my office, they started complaining about the price for cremation and our professional services. "$150 just to pick up a body?" "$50 for just a cardboard container to cremate her in?" They went on to challenge every cost, including the crematory fees that I didn't have any control over.

Finally, I suggested that they go back home and call other mortuaries in the area and get their rices for service. I even offered to wave any of our charges for another mortuary to come and get her. The nearest Mortuary was about 25 miles away.

They gave up and agreed to our professional fees and crematory costs. With all of the authorizations signed, contract completed, it was finally a done deal. As they were getting up to leave my office: "Oh, one more thing, we want you to euthanize her three cats and cremate them with her." "If YOU want to kill her cats and cremate them, you need to take them to a vet and afterwards place them in a container. At that point, I will cremate them."

"How much will a vet charge?" "I don't know." "Can't YOU drown them or hit them with a bat or something?" "Hell no.......get out of my office NOW." "YOU can't kick up out of here...." "This is private property, leave before I call the cops......"

A few hours later, the owner of the Mortuary/Crematory in the next town called me. "Hey, _______ I hear you won't kill cats. What's up with that?" We both got a good laugh out of the family's antics.

The next day a Funeral Home even further away called and picked up the body. I have no idea what ever happened to the cats. I didn't want to know.