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A Charred story.

'EXECUTIVE PROTECTION', Not just a job but an adventure!

I just got back for a seven day/night executive protection gig. I have been away from this sort of work for a few years. I had forgotten how nice 5 star hotels and restaurants are, I didn't even mind the 10-12 hour days. The following are a few short stories about E/P. Some are reposts of stories that have vanished from 'MY FAVORITES' over the last few months.

I was working at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills for a member of the Saudi Royal Family. The Prince had rented out an entire floor in the old building. It was an open area and drunks or tourists would wander onto the floor at all hours of day and night. To compound the problem, there was another building with the same numbering on it's floors, we would get in arguments with idiots that were in the wrong building.

One morning, one of my coworkers that was wrapped way too tight to do E/P work went on break around 1 am. He punched the wrong floor on the elevator button and came off a floor above the one we were protecting. When he got out of the elevator, none of us were around. He completely lost his shit and started screaming that we were all dead and under attack. All of this was going out into his radio and screaming at full volume. None of the other 4 of us knew what the fuck was going on. The useless Saudi Secret Service that "worked" with us were terrified and ran for the shelter of their room. Servants of the prince and guests on other floors were running out of their rooms in panic.

I could hear him on the floor above ours yelling and screaming. I crept up the stairs and saw this idiot, with his gun out, crouched down by the elevator. "Hey Billy Bob, it's me, ____ put your gun away and knock that shit off, you are on the wrong floor." "How do I know it's you?" "Because if you don't chill the fuck out, I am going to shoot you in the face before the cops get here." He cautiously stood up and put his gun away. I was laying prone at the top of the staircase. I got up, put my gun away and dusted my suit off.

By now, hotel security had ushered guests back into their rooms and Saudi workers went back to their rooms. But the damage was done. The prince had his card game interrupted and sent out his #1 guy to see what was going on. Billy Bob was fired on the spot and the Saudi SS lied about valiantly defending the prince, until they saw our tapes.

A few months later, I was working for a Saudi Princess that rented an entire floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel. One day some guy dressed in casual clothing popped out of the private elevator. (It happened frequently) A co-worker and I approached the person and politely advised him that this was a private floor. "No it's not." and tried to walk around us. "Sir, this is a private floor, please leave now.." He jammed his hand into the inside of his coat's waistband and suddenly found himself face down in the carpet with the offending hand twisted up behind his back. He started crying that he was the head of hotel security. We cranked him up a little harder and called security. Hotel security arrived and verified he WAS the head of security. "Why in the fuck would you do such a stupid thing? We could have shot your ass."

The security boss said we over reacted and that he was reaching for a business card. He didn't have cards or even a wallet on him. The MANAGER of the BH Hotel showed up. We reviewed the audio and visual records. The manager admonished his security not to show up unannounced or not requested. Our crew, on both shifts got quite a chuckle out of the incident.

Over the years, most of the executive protection assignments I did, were boring. They were hours of sitting in a car, often freezing your ass off and pissing in a big gulp container. People that expected you to protect their lives, refused to allow you to use their toilet.

If there is any interest in this topic, I can crank out some encounters with famous people I have worked for and with...

CT.