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It's been a while since I have enjoyed the ranting of cop haters and trolls. The only time I see a comment from "Pox Doctor" is when I write a story. So here ya go guys and wannabe girls. During my careers as a mortician, cop, coroner's investigator and Executive Protection Specialist, I have seen lots of people get fired. Some of their departures are amusing and I decided to share with my fellow Kaotics. I began my mortuary career while I was a Senior in High School. It was an eye opening experience for a just turned and relatively naïve 18 year old. Chronic alcohol abuse was the norm. I saw embalmers that were so drunk, they had to embalm sitting on a stool and drivers and funeral directors, so drunk they couldn't get out of their cars. Did they get fired? Oh heck no. I saw a guy get fired because he stole a distinctive tie off a decedent. When his wife showed up weeks later to pick up death certificates, this idiot was wearing the distinctive tie. Stealing cash or other property could get you fired, if you got caught. Another co-worker and I went to a house to pick up a body. The individual got their social security check, cashed it and stacked up the cash and change. He lived on a pension and didn't need the social security. Unknown to me, my co worker took about $3500 of the cash and promptly bought a new VW bug. A mutual friend told me about the crime months later. I worked with a self described minister that would take new underclothing brought in by families and keep it. He was always telling us how devout he was and virtuous. He got fired after several complaints from little old ladies about him groping them before, during or after funerals. A guy I worked with was fired by his previous employer for trying to commit suicide by drinking embalming fluid. The idiot had been jilted by a stripper, who he caught in the club parking lot blowing a guest for cash. He got fired because he was in the hospital and the health insurance premium went up. I was working for a moron that inherited three mortuaries in Los Angeles County. He had attended USC for half a semester and thought he knew everything. For unknown reasons, he hired a USC graduate to work in the mortuary. The only problem was the graduate didn't want to be around dead bodies in any way, manor or form. The owner told me to cut him slack for 4 days and realized it was hopeless. He almost broke down and cried because the new hire was "dead weight" and he had to fire him. I worked for a chain of mortuaries that liked to hire Mormons. They considered them more trustworthy and they allegedly didn't drink or smoke. I have found Mormons cowering in the embalming room because they couldn't tolerate the sight of blood. One was so drunk, we couldn't drag him out of his car before work. Others would site religious reasons and simply not show up for work for days on end. I could dredge up firings for hours in mortuaries. Theft, credit card fraud, consensual sodomy with co-workers, sexual harassment against both genders (back when there were only two genders) were and are all part of the industry. OK cop haters. Brush those hot pocket crumbs off your fingers. This is what you have been waiting for! Go to any media source and you will see or read about cops getting fired. Cops beat people, shoot and assault people, get caught and fired almost on a daily basis. Judges and fellow inmates have little or no sympathy for stupid cops getting caught doing stupid stuff. The following are just a few that you probably didn't read about, but may find entertaining. Many cops get terminated before the end of their probationary period for a wide variety of reasons. Thanks to our California public schools, many get washed out because they simply can't write even a basic report or ticket. After the Rodney King event, the feds MANDATED female and minority hiring across most of the state. Female and minority applicants were hired that had NO business being in law enforcement. Agencies would pull their hair out in collective clumps to trying to get their diversity hires functional out in the field. New hires (after completing a reduced standard academy) would be sent to collages to take ENGLISH COMP classes or even basic High School English. When they proved themselves non functional, they had a hell of a time firing them and maintaining quotas for females and minorities. Meanwhile, qualified white males were stalled or rejected outright to make room for diversity. Student workers, Community service officers and others are often young people that want to explore police work before they reach 21 years old and can get hired as a cop. What can go wrong when an 18 year old is around all sorts of police equipment and is loosely supervised? We had a "golden boy" out in "Sleepy Hollow." He was smart, good looking, knew how to suck ass and was given near police officer powers. I came back from a 10 day vacation and all the locks in the entire station were changed. I had to enter through the lobby and get my new keys and codes. Apparently, during my vacation, the golden boy got caught at night in our County Park, getting butt fucked by a felon he met during the booking process. Bye bye. A young female that was working records division as a civilian got fired and cost the city $5000 in a matter of minutes. My partner and I detained a transient in the county park one night. We decided to run him for city warrants and contacted records. A few minutes after our inquiry, the young woman advised us that he had a FELONY WARRANT FOR 187 PC (Homicide). We slammed the suspect on the ground and pulled a small knife off of him, cuffed him and were getting ready to stuff him in our cop car when this stupid bitch radioed..."Just kidding, ha ha ha." The watch commander was monitoring our radios and nearly did a back flip out of his comfy chair. He drove to our location and apologized for the error and told the bum some bullshit. The poor unhoused victim of our oppression, got ahold of a lawyer and got $5000 in go away money. The girl got fired that night. During my tenure as a background investigator in the ghetto, I processed an individual that did not meet the state mandated requirements for the position of police officer. During my investigation I discovered that while working as an LAPD student worker, he had taken a cop's ID, badge, gun and gotten a detective unit and was out driving around (a big no no at several levels) Two motor cops caught him when he had pulled over a car for a headlight warning. LAPD fired him. Despite the described incident and other stupidity, The PD I worked for wanted me to falsify my report. When I declined to do so, I got kicked out of the background unit. (I never wanted to work in there to begin with) He went on to go through the academy and get off probation. 18 months later, he, a Sheriff's Deputy and a civilian jail worker got caught stealing cash and credit cards from arrestees that were going to be in prison for years. They split the cash and used or sold the stolen cards and got caught. Guess who Internal Affairs dragged into their office and tried to blame ME for hiring such a low life. I told them the story and was advised that the Sgt. for the unit had died and that the other involved in the hiring had terminal cancer. The Chief was looking for a head on a pole, sadly, he couldn't get mine. If I thought about it, I could come up with many more stories about fools getting fired. I haven't touched on my tenures as a Body guard or work with the US Marshal as a civilian contractor. Let me know if you want to hear more. CT