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A Charredtorso story.

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!

Our friend Crabhawk asked me about unusual places I have removed bodies from. Crab, if you can see it or picture it in your mind, I have removed a body from there!

Common places, other than in bed, are attics or crawl spaces under houses. Over the years I destroyed numerous pairs of slacks and dress shoes crawling up under houses to remove bodies. A good rule of thumb is that the fatter the dead guy is the further under the house they died. I removed a missing husband who's wife said he often ran off for days or weeks and didn't think much about him until a big reddish-brown spot appeared on her ceiling! He had been in the attic for about two weeks dead.

According to his friends Billy Bob was a druggie. He, for some unknown reason, loved to go up on the roof of gas stations and shoot up his dope. A few days after Billie went missing workers noticed a huge swarm of flies boiling around on a gas station roof. The missing Billie Bob had been found and your humble narrator had the honor of removing his bloated dead ass from the roof, with the aid of the fire department.

Similarly I pulled a guy out of a tree in a large county park. He was discovered by a family sitting at a picnic table, enjoying a lunch, when a splash of decomposition fluids landed on their table! The rotten dead guy was a known local hype who liked to climb trees and shoot dope.

Outhouses or port o potty's are nasty places to be found dead in. I had a skinny old man die of a heart attack while taking a dump. He slipped and slid down into the foul blue fluid they put in the potty's. It took my partner and I almost an hour to get the guy out of the blue goo. I have been involved in several other potty deaths from overdose or homicide.

People in a hurry to dispose of an unwanted body often do stupid and lazy things to 'cover their tracks'. Murderers in previous stories have put bodies in 50 gallon drums, refrigerators, car trunks

vacant houses, abandon pools and the ever popular, throw'em down an embankment. Sometimes the departed are not discovered for days, weeks or forever.

The trick is to plan ahead. Dig that hole you want your ex to go in ahead of time, wrap them in plastic to avoid DNA transfer to your transportation and above all, wear gloves! If you are really thinking ahead, go to Home Depot and buy a big bag of quick lime and sprinkle it inside the grave. It may deter animals from digging up the corpse and cut down the foul odor. Lime will also 'burn' the body to delay ID-ing the body (take any identifying clothing, rings or other jewelry off the body.)

Like I said at the start of this story, if you can see it, I have pulled a body out or off of it. I never know how much detail to put into these stories. If you have any questions about mortuary or coroner's work, send it to my favorites box or write it down below in comments.

CT.