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A Charredtorso story.

ADVENTURES OFF DUTY!

After working as a mortician and coroner's investigator you develop a 'nose' for the particular smell of a dead human body. Once you smell human remains, especially decomposing human remains, you alert to it, like a dope dog to weed!

I am driving down the 14 freeway in northern Los Angeles County. It was a beautiful warm day, but not hot enough to run the car's AC. I have the driver's window down about 1/3rd of the way and I get a whiff of decomposing human. I slow down and note the area of the 'scent' and drive to my destination. I decided to call the California Highway Patrol and report my observation. I start telling them what I smelled and the 911 operator tells me that it's a dead animal. I offer her my credentials as a cop and coroner's investigator though she couldn't care less and blew me off, without even getting my call back number.

So I call the nearest L.A. County Sheriff's station and tell them about what I smelled and provide a good location area. Some dumb ass Deputy decided to argue with me and tell me I didn't know what I was talking about. To shut me up he took my name and phone number and I reminded him that the call was being recorded by his office.

Fast forward to around midnight or 1 am the next day. My phone rings and it's Sheriff's Detectives. They demanded that I get out of bed, get dressed and drive 30 minutes to WHERE THEY FOUND A DEAD BODY ON THE 14 FREEWAY EMBANKMENT, right where I told the cops earlier in the day where it would be! I told them I was in bed and had no intention of driving to a crime scene at 1 am. They had their chance with me earlier in the day and blew me off. "If you're not here within an hour, we will come and arrest you!" "That's cool!", I answer, "I encourage you to arrest me, I can use the extra money from the law suit!"

True to their word, about 30 minutes later I had two detectives and 6 uniform deputies pounding on my door. I told my wife to call my lawyer should they grab me and I went downstairs in my bathrobe.

Up until then I didn't tell the Sheriffs that I was a cop. After I badged them, they backed way off. I told them the story about calling the CHP and Sheriff Dispatch and how they all blew me off.

They were able to confirm that I was a cop by not only checking my ID and badge but also by some comments I made about how huge the asses were of most 911 operators! I fully recounted my observations and they told me that some guy got a flat tire, looked down the embankment and saw a rotting corpse! I told the cops that if someone was an expert on a subject to listen to them and maybe even follow up!

A month or so later, in the middle of the summer, my wife and I went on a hike. We got way out on the train where few people wandered and I smelled that special smell again. My Microbiologist wife noticed the foul odor too. "Gee, are you going to notify the Sheriff?" "Not just no, but FUCK NO!!"

CT.