A few short stories from the feted mind of CHARREDTORSO

As always, the following stories are probably reposts of stories from long ago that have been deleted by Admin. Heirloomtormento asked me to write about decomposed bodies. Hold on to your lunch, here we go again.

A while back, on a bright and sunny day, I was driving on the 14 freeway in Northern L.A. County, when I smelled the unmistakable smell of rotting human flesh. I noted the approximate location and called the California Highway Patrol. I told the 911 operator about the smell and my qualifications as a former Coroner's Investigator and current cop. She started arguing with me and insisted it was a dead animal. Not happy with the CHP, I called the L.A. Co. Sheriff 911. They gave me the same run around but at my insistence, took my phone number.

After midnight, I received a call from Sheriff's homicide detectives. They demanded that I drive to a CRIME SCENE on the 14 freeway. I declined their invitation and they said that they would show up at my house if I wasn't there in 30 minutes. 35 minutes later, 4 uniform deputies and two detectives were pounding on my door. The quick version was that someone was changing a tire on the side of the road, smelled the body and lit it up with a flashlight. At that point, I badged the cops and talked some shit about their 911 operators and the CHP. They left shortly there after. "Gentlemen, if someone demonstrates expertise in a subject, maybe listen to them in the future..."

While working for the Coroner's office, I responded to a vacant lot in East Los Angeles. There was the unmistakable stench of a decomposed body emanating from a 50 gallon steel drum. According to the witness and the cops, the drum had been sitting in the lot for a few weeks the witnesses' dog kept trying to get at the drum. Finally the dog owner tipped the drum over and out popped a liquified human, dressed in Hollywood Gay Bar leather. I won't go into detail as to how I transported the body from the lot to the coroner's office, but I had to throw away a good pair of shoes and slacks......

Years before, I was dispatched to a duplex in South Pasadena. Blocks away from the address, I could smell a rotten body(s) another undertaker was headed away from the smell. "How long?" "Weeks, I am going to get a body bag, gloves and some plastic wrap." Cops were waiting way out on the front lawn, never a good sign. A trail of ants was headed in and out of the house and dead flies filled the space between the screen and the front window of the duplex. The air inside was filled with the buzzing of thousands of flies and the squishy sound of maggots having a late lunch.

A young couple walked up on the front steps, took one look and ran off, the male puked on the front lawn. A few minutes later, another couple wandered up the steps and ran off screaming. I went out and asked the cops what they were doing. "With all the stink and flies, if they STILL want to see what's going on, we're going to let them.." We had to use one of the deceased's kitchen ladles to scoop up liquified guts and most of the maggots milling around with the body in an over stuffed chair.

A while back, I wrote about a couple that lived in their car. They waited until Friday night and gassed themselves in an industrial park. It had been in the 90's for a week and they weren't found until Monday. Not only did they live on a diet of Mountain Dew and Baked beans, but they were wearing 3 layers of clothing. Did I mention they were both obese and now bloated. The other poor bastard and I had to undress these decomposed messes and prepare them for autopsies. It was a Merry Monday for one and all!

Fellow Kaotics, it isn't enough to see this stuff in clips or read about it. You need to get right down on it and smell the smells, taste the stench in your mouth, hear the flies and maggots. Maybe grab an arm and have it pull loose out of the socket or have the huge blisters that form on the skin, burst and leak all over you and everything else.

My thanks to DaStiffy for posting this for me. If you have any questions about mortuaries, coroner's work, police work or executive protection drop me a a text. The more I write, the more experiences come to mind. The trolls and cop haters always show up when I write these stories. I encourage you to share your thoughts with them about their critiques. CT