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A Charredtorso story.

Illustration by UKChrissie.

LET'S GO SHOPPING!

I was working for a member of the Saudi Royal family staying at the Beverly-Wilshire Hotel. For the most part, it was an incredibly boring assignment, except when a co-worker flipped out (see my collection of stories in my favorites). We would sit in the hallway and near the elevator and politely chase off the random tourist or drunk that wandered into the private floor.

Our shifts ran from 6 pm to 6 am. It was about half way through the shift on a very quiet week night,

when the head of our executive protection team told us 'hall monkeys" to saddle up, we were going shopping. We loaded our client and a few of his boys in his stretch limo and the E/P crew jumped into a Suburban and up Rodeo Drive we went.

The client's money man had called several men's specialty shops and the stores re-opened in hopes of earning some big money selling their highly overpriced products to the rich. We walked into a men's

boutique. The manager and two clerks acted like we were rock stars. They offered us coffee drinks, pastries and various fruit juices (no alcohol for the Saudis) The client wandered around the store with two of us stationed by the front door, one to the rear door and the rest loosely following the client and store staff.

The client walked up to a display of V neck T-shirts in a variety of pastel colors. "Give me two of each in extra large." The clerk almost did a back flip. As I walked past the display, I looked at the price tag: $600. EACH! After the client selected a few more items, we were off to ARMANI. No mention of price or payment was ever discussed.

ARMANI was next to a high end bar and restaurant that was still open. When we showed up, patrons thought we were some sort of celebrity and his crew. Several people crowded around our vehicles. When no one could figure out who our client was, they went back into the bar. The Saudis like it that way. They want to spend money, do their thing and stay under the radar.

The store manager greeted us at the door and offered everyone coffee and fruit juices. As before, we wondered around the store with security on the doors and following the client. The client asked for a casual leather jacket. The one he liked and tried on was beautiful, but the sleeves were too short for our tall client. He called over his limo driver. "Here, this looks like it would fit you." "Oh your highness, I couldn't except this..." "I INSIST, TRY IT ON." The jacket fit like it was tailored for the driver. "I want you to have it....." Your highness, I......... "TAKE THE JACKET." "Yes sir, thank you."

The price tag was $12,000.

As we left the store, I asked the limo driver what he was going to do with a $12,000. jacket. "His highness is leaving town next week. I am coming back and getting cash for it. By the time he gets back here, he won't remember buying it for me." and we were off to the next stores on the list.

We got back to the hotel around 4 am. It made that shift go a lot faster. I've done the same thing with Saudi females. A few hours of browsing and buying can boost the Beverly Hills economy $50,000. or more and they do that 2-3 times a week during their stay. Stays often last the entire Summer. When it's 80 in Beverly Hills, it's 130 in Saudi Arabia.