MAKE IT VIRAL:
Towards the end of my Tenure as a Corpse Cop, I sold Embalming Chemicals and Mortuary Supplies. My sales territory included Southern California, Arizona and Southern Nevada.
One morning, my first stop was in Douglass, Arizona. I walked in to a Mortuary and the owner was on the phone. He told me that the Sheriff had a Coroner's case just outside of town and he didn't have anyone to help him remove the body. I volunteered and off we went.
Ten minutes later, we rolled up in front of a one room shack. There were two Cochise County Sheriff's Deputies standing outside the shack, looking quite bored. There was barely enough room for the four living and one dead people to fit in the shack. There was a wretched bed frame with a filthy pad on it, along one wall, a small cooking /heating stove and a three drawer dresser. A five gallon paint bucket served as the toilet and garbage can. Seated up against the wall, on the floor with his legs straight out was the reason we weren't eating breakfast at the Galveston Hotel.
The deceased male appeared to be in his seventies and probably weighed 80 or so pounds. The Mortician knew he wasn't going to make any money on this body and wanted to get back to town for a free breakfast. Neither of the Deputies had any Coroner's investigative training, so I lapsed into investigator mode and started asking the Deputies background info. The dead guy had been living in this shack for as long as anyone could remember. About twice a month, he would walk into town and
buy groceries and cigarettes. Based on a variety of factors, I determined he had been dead for about three days and had most probably died of natural causes. I had the cops look around the room for next of kin information and any valuables that should be removed from the shack for safe keeping.
At that point, I put on a pair of autopsy gloves and got ready to do a basic field exam. I pulled on the deceased's legs to make him flat on the floor. At first, I thought I was hallucinating. The body appeared to tremble, then shake. The two cops, the mortician and I, stood wide eyed as this emaciated body began to wiggle slightly and bounce on the filthy floor. As the body began to rock,
everyone tried to distance themselves as much as possible from the dancing dead. Both cops bolted through the door outside, cussing all the way. Suddenly, the way over sized shirt on the deceased, started raising and falling. Then WHAM! a huge giant RAT flew out of the shirt and followed the Deputies out the shack door.
Sometime during the previous three days, the rat had taken residence in the shack dweller's guts, peacefully gnawing on the old timer's internal organs. Our visit woke the rat up and he decided to leave. After a few more tentative kicks to the corpse to make sure there were no more rats, we continued with business as usual.
Taco Bell employee
WHOS DA BITCH NOW?
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SHE DESERVED IT