ME NOT SO HORNEY

Submitted on 02/02/2018 by: Wicked
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a story by Charredtorso

After about six months of field training in "Sleepy Hollow" I was let loose on the population as a single officer patrol unit, with limited supervision. Before becoming a cop, I always thought the complaints about Asian drivers was just a stereotype. After working in "The Hollow", stereotype proved to be fact.

On my first day out by myself as a cop and an hour into my swing shift, I observed a car blow through a 4 way stop sign. I lit the car up with my red lights, 4 blocks down the street, the car blew through another 4 way at 35 MPH. I hit my siren briefly, but the car continued and blew the next 4 way stop sign further down the road. I got on the radio and announced I was in pursuit, knowing the Chief of Police would probably tear me a new asshole. The car I was chasing continued for another half mile, running 4 ways in the residential area of town. After running with lights and siren for nearly a mile,
the car pulled over.

I cautiously walked up to the driver side window. A mid 30's Chinese woman cracked her window down about an inch. "Waa you wannn?" "May I see your driver's license and registration?" "Waa fooor?" "You ran 6 four way stop signs and failed to pull over for an emergency vehicle." "No, I did."
"Did you see my red lights and hear my siren?" "Ya, I hear.... I no do nothing wrong, so I no have to stop."

At this point, I look in the back seat. A 2 year old kid is running back and forth, like a monkey at a Buddhist Temple without a child seat even in the car." "Why is your child unrestrained, it is the law?"
"She have seat belt, she have seat belt." "I need to see your driver's license, do you really have one?" "Ya, I have, I no show you....." When I told her I was going to arrest her, she reluctantly slipped her driver's licence through the slit in the window.

I went back to my cop car and wrote her a whole page worth of traffic violation tickets and returned to her car. She had gotten so mad, she lost her ability to communicate in English and was talking bad about my mom and I in Mandarin. I started explaining the various citations, she began screaming and pounding on her dash board. I told her about the court date on the ticket and how she had to go to court. When I told her I needed a signature on the ticket, her English returned with a vengeance.
"MOTHERFUCK YOU." "I NO SIGN, I NO SIGN!"

By now, another officer rolled up to see what I was dealing with and to find out why I announced a pursuit, so he could rat me off to the Chief later. I yanked the car door open and told her to get out of the car, she was going to jail, her car would be towed and her kid would be going to Child Protective Services. Following another burst of profanity in Chinese and English, she reluctantly signed the ticket. Her parting words were: "My baby see everything, she be witness in court, you mother-fucker."

Following three postponements, she appeared in court with a Chinese Lawyer. Both were stunned that I showed up. The judge dropped all but one of the 4 way violations and dropped the failure to yield charge. I saw this Pearl of the Orient three more times during my remaining 3 years working for the city. She always recognized me, gave me the finger and mouthed the words "FUCK YOU." It was just a mild warm up for my tenure in the Ghetto.

Kaboshski

02/04/2018 06:44

good story, thank you.... the world seems full of assholes. except us.

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COMMENT RATED BY:
Charredtorso

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johnnywad

02/03/2018 18:00

They should suspend her Rickshaw license too.

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COMMENT RATED BY:
Wicked
Charredtorso

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necron

02/03/2018 00:19

Good one charred,Keep em coming

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UKChrissie
Get Zappad
Wicked

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veryevilnip

02/02/2018 23:03

Looks like a Downs syndrome man

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Charredtorso
Get Zappad
Wicked
Jallamedalla

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UKChrissie

02/02/2018 22:20





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Charredtorso
johnnywad
Wicked
Jallamedalla

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NoFleas

02/02/2018 21:06

motherfuck you man!

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COMMENT RATED BY:
Jallamedalla

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