DON'T WORRY, HE'S A DOCTOR

Submitted on 05/23/2018 by: Wicked
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a story by Charredtorso

Years ago, before I became a cop, I would go on "ride a longs" with different law enforcement agencies all over southern California. A life long friend of mine was a Deputy Sheriff in Ventura County, just North West of Los Angeles County. I was shopping for a police department to build a career with and Ventura County looked promising.

We were riding around a rural part of the county, when we got a call about a problem with two dogs.
It took my friend 15 minutes just to reach the remote property. On arrival we encountered a woman that was running back and fourth frantically in the front yard of a very large property. We could hear two big dogs barking their guts out and growling.

As we entered a huge home, there was a man, buck naked in the middle of the living room floor with numerous DEEP puncture wounds all over his body. At a glance, there were well over 50 deep wounds
on his arms, legs, torso, face and head. What got my attention was his scrotum that was torn open and bleeding profusely.

When we asked the woman what happened, she was barely able to spit out that they were caretakers at the estate and the owner was on vacation. The male had been feeding two MASSIVE PIT BULLS and forgot to close the gate between their separate cages. The dogs began to try to tear each other apart and stupid got between them with a broom stick, to break up the fight. After a few ineffective wacks, both dogs turned on him and tried to tear him apart. They tore off all of his clothing and did a pretty good job of tearing the male apart too.

At this point, my friend radioed for an ambulance and was told the paramedics wold take an estimated ETA of 15-20 minutes. Without blinking an eye, my friend told the frantic female: "Don't worry, this is DOCTOR _________, he will be able to help your husband."

The woman relaxed slightly, while I gave my buddy my best "fuck you" look. I had a degree alright, a degree in Mortuary Science. This was before I joined a Search & Rescue Team and became EMT I & II certified. Based on limited reading and TV shows, I could tell the male was in shock. He was incoherent and shaking from the mental and physical trauma. In my best confident doctor voice I said: "This man is going into shock." "We need to elevate his legs and I need clean bandages to slow the blood loss and blankets." While the woman ran off with my shopping list, I said: "What the fuck have you gotten me into?" "I am no doctor." "Look, I'll back your play, I don't have a clue what to do....."

After what seemed like an hour, the paramedics arrived. I had been treating my patient, while my friend wrote his report. The woman told the paramedics I was a Doctor and had SAVED HIS LIFE. After I washed the blood and dog spit off of my hands and arms, while the paramedics started working on the chew toy, we went out to the kennel.

The two "land sharks" were locked in a deadly embrace. One was trying to tear the other's face off, while the other was locked on the other dog's neck. A call to dispatch indicated a 2-3 hour delay on animal control's arrival. We ducked back inside the house and told the woman about animal control.
She wanted my business card and wanted to know where I practiced medicine. "I may have one in my jacket out in the patrol car.... She kissed my cheek and thanked me for saving her husband.

My friend and I took that opportunity to get back into the black and white and haul ass before the paramedics started asking questions. A few weeks later, I went out to Ventura to ride with my friend again. After briefing, the Watch Commander gave me a strange look. "Deputy _________ didn't tell me you were a medical doctor." "Thank you for stepping up for us out there....." "Why would a Doctor want to be a cop?" I mumbled something about a career change and not needing the money.
We got out of the station as quickly as possible.

Kaboshski

05/25/2018 10:19

you keep brightening my day Torso, thanks again!

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Strikeatic

05/23/2018 22:52

Fucking love these. Got to finish my coffee and laugh at a
well written tale of humour chaos and somehow.. i could
smell the California air.. all the way from Sydney

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Charredtorso

05/23/2018 17:48

Go to Charredtorso's favorites to
see all of the stories you may have
missed.

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youlosebigtime said :

05/24/2018

Charred, this is really great stuff! Thanks!

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