MAKE IT VIRAL:
A story by Charredtorso
I was managing the mortuary up on the Central California Coast, when I got a call from the Sheriff/Coroner. "Stop whatever you are doing and get out to __________ address as fast as possible. "What's going on?" "Just get here and hurry." "Come by yourself....."
I threw an extra cot in our "meat wagon" along with extra plastic and a change of clothing, in case it
was something extra nasty. Every cop and sheriff's car in a 20 mile radius was parked near the house in question. Most of the cops were standing around in the front yard. Some cops were giggling, others were straight up laughing. Still others were visibly upset. Now, even I was curious, WTF was going on?
Inside the house, a city cop detective grabbed me and almost dragged me out to the garage. there in the garage was a VERY prominent member of the community. He had a woman's wig and make up on as well as a plus size Teddy, complete with mesh stockings. He had a ligature hanging from the garage rafter down and around his neck. His penis was sticking out of the pantie part of his outfit and a stack of gay porn magazines was spread out on the garage floor in front of his lifeless eyes. One of the magazines was almost completely "glazed." Cause of death: Auto erotic asphyxia. (look it up.)
The Local Chief of Police and the area Commander for the Sheriff's Department and the city Mayor walked up to me. His wife took the kids to (A town about 25 miles North) and will be back home any time. "DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THE MEDIA ABOUT THIS!" "We want to keep this as quiet as possible." "What do you want me to tell the wife when she shows up at the funeral home?" "We'll take care of it before that happens." "Ok"
The local radio station and the news paper were out front of the house. I differed all questions to the Sheriff and Chief of Police, then hauled ass before mom and the kids showed up. I called my employer, who was out of town, and told him what was going on. The following day, the new widow, her minister and a few family members showed up to complete the funeral arrangements.
"Mr __________, do you know how my husband died?" "Mam, didn't the Sheriff or police department give you any information?" "No, when I got home yesterday, they stood around for a while and left after my family and Reverend ________ got to my house." "I am sorry, the autopsy has been completed, but they are waiting for the Toxicology results to come back." "It appears that he asphyxiated." (It wasn't a lie, I just omitted some of the truth.)
We held the funeral for the prominent citizen three days later and it was a splendid affair, no one appeared to be the wiser. Two weeks later, the widow and her children stopped by to pick up the certified copies of the death certificate for legal purposes like insurance and transfer of title. The wife opened the envelope and nearly did a back flip when she saw the cause of death. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, MR________????" Asphyxia due to or as a consequence of Auto Erotic Compression of the
Trachea. No one that said they would, told the widow the details of her husband's unplanned and untimely death. They were all too embarrassed to tell her the truth.
I called the cops and the Sheriff. No one wanted to talk to the widow. When I told them I would have to do it, they were relieved. I called her minister and he showed up in 15 minutes. A friend of the family scooped up the kids. I took a few deep breaths and carefully explained what had happened to her 36 year old husband. I only offered details when she or the Minister asked for them. When was all said and the questions I could answer were answered, she asked where the "Teddy" was.
I went back to our property storage area and got the clothing out. I pulled the porn mags out of the bag and tossed them in the trash. I took the clothing and wig up to the front arrangement office. I honestly thought she was going to puke all over my hand carved polished walnut desk. She choked out a "Thank you for telling me what the police were afraid to say." She was a nice person and could have been told about the death in a better way.
So.... what does Lt. Stotlemeyer have to do with this?
That's some David Carradine s*** there man I guess that's saying you got to try everything once was pretty f***** up, he got it right the first time when he killed himself sick
Yeah right like she didn't have any clue her husband was a cross dressing homo
Good story Charred, keep em coming.
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