I DON'T KNOW HOW CRAZY YOU ARE...

Submitted on 04/18/2018 by: Wicked
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a story by Charredtorso

I was working a one officer car in the South Central Ghetto. I didn't like to work days because they were more quiet than the swing shifts I worked most of my career. Thugs, gangsters and drug dealers don't get up and start doing "ill shit" until the early afternoons. Day shift is mostly devoted to writing reports about what happened on graveyard or the previous swing shift.

Right out of briefing, at around 6:20 am, myself and two other day shift guys got a call of a man screaming, running around in his boxer shorts in his front yard. We all rolled up together a few doors down from the listed address. There, in his boxer shorts, sitting in the middle of his driveway, was a mid 20's Afro-American.

What made the scene unusual and our of the ordinary was the 5 foot tall stuffed Rabbit he had in a scissor leg lock. He was also holding a large kitchen knife to the rabbit's throat. Immediately, the scene from the movie COLORS came to mind. "Drop the knife." "Fuck you." "Drop the knife now."
"Fuck you all....." This went on for a few minutes, while I tip toed back to my car and grabbed the Remington 870 shotgun and racked a round into it.

"Drop the knife NOW, or I'll turn you and the rabbit into Swiss shit!" "If I let the rabbit go, he'll kill us all..." Meanwhile, neighbors were emerging from their houses and enjoying the Ghetto Kabuki from their front lawns. The reviews from the audience were mixed. Shouts of "Shoot that mother-fucker" were mixed with "Leave him alone, he ain't did shit....."

Finally, 20 minutes into the drama, the field Sargent rolled up. After a brief briefing on the situation, Sarge pulled a PARTY SIZED container of pepper spray from his trunk. "Drop the knife and get on your stomach, or you'll get sprayed." And with the magic words of "FUCK YOU", Sarge let the pepper spray... fly. A massive fog of the irritant soaked Mister Boxers and the Rabbit. Mr. Boxer couldn't even choke out another Fuck You, before he began rolling around and screaming.

Now the neighbors were suddenly upset that we had hosed down Mr. Boxer. (I guess we could have shot him numerous times.) Bad words about police in general and our collective relationships with our mothers were offered by the 20 or so gathered at the scene. Sarge, had limited tolerance for unprovoked verbal abuse. "OK, next time, don't call us, we'll send an ambulance after he guts a few of you."

Mr. Boxer went to the Psyche Unit at County Hospital and the rabbit was released to the care and custody of Mr. Boxer's long suffering parents. The rabbit expressed no desire to press charges or kill anyone.

grann

04/23/2018 17:03

you should have shot the rabbit.
that would have taken the wind out of his sails.

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RictusGrin

04/19/2018 21:55

His behaviour was fully understandable. The hookah-smoking caterpillar had given him a call. Go ask Alice.

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Charredtorso

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Strikeatic

04/19/2018 09:47

Ive got to stop reading them of wickeds wall.. its just not the same as waiting for these.

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Darkwolfe

04/19/2018 08:42

"OK, next time, don't call us, we'll send an ambulance after he guts a few of you."

Yeah, and they'll cry and protest and football players will take a knee. It's all your fault. Then when a bunch of em die, it's all, "We gotta do sumpfin! Y'all needs to be protectin us! How comes y'all dont come down to da hood! Police only be protectin' dere own rich white friends."

Fuckin hypocrites. At least here in the Meth capital we're balanced, we don't want the cops around to arrest or help us - we'll just handle that shit on our own with a 30-06

Great story Charred!

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youlosebigtime

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dastiffy

04/19/2018 07:28

I have a rabbit too.

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FUALL

04/18/2018 21:01

Your exactly right C.T. Let them kill them selves and don%u2019t bother with it. Keep the quiet days cause it%u2019s safer. A few coppers I know like the excitement of a busy night too until my boy James was looking to fuck with a few nigs standing around in Philadelphia not bothering anyone at 2 am. Now he enjoys playing with his kids in the comfort of his wheelchair.
Don%u2019t start none won%u2019t be none my friend.
True story.
C.T. I hope you were a man with morals on the job cause I like your thinking

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