HERE, I'LL HELP YOU

Submitted on 05/13/2018 by: Wicked
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a story by Charredtorso

I was working on the central coast of California when we got a call form the Sheriff/Coroner to respond to a suicide. It was a weekend, so the useless coroner's investigators were off playing golf or pocket pool. A brand new, part-time helper was in the office, so I took him with me.

We arrived at a modest residence in town and were ushered into the closed garage by the local detectives. Billy had gotten caught cheating on his girlfriend for the 25th time. This time, she broke up with him. The previous night, he called her house repeatedly and finally threatened suicide, if she didn't come over to his parents house (for some make up sex). Once again she declined, he threatened to kill himself and she hung up on him.

This time, true to his word, Billy went out to the garage, set up a noose on the rafter, got up on his motorcycle , put the rope around his neck and jumped. When my new worker and I got there, Billy was hanging about 3 feet above the garage floor. Billy's parents were in the house, still screaming and hollering ABOUT THE GIRLFRIEND.

Two Detectives (dumb and dumber) were offering advise as to how to get Billy down and onto our cot.
This wasn't, by far, my first hanging and I knew how to move and remove bodies from every place known to man. I set up a ladder that was in the garage and got ready to use a time tested technique to get Billy back to the mortuary. I told my new employee what we were going to do and asked if he was up for it. I moved our mortuary cot into position. One of the cops climbed the ladder and without any warning said: "Here, I'll help you." and promptly cut the hanging rope.

Billy plummeted towards our cot at an angle, just as I planned. But we were not in position to catch and lower Billy. Instead, Billy slammed head to head into my new worker, knocking my new hire stupid and opening up a 2 inch cut on his forehead. Billy bounced off the cot and did a head first pile drive into the concrete. Billy's skull cracked like a coconut and blood oozed out of his melon as well as my employee's.

I had never, up to this point, cussed out a cop, let alone a detective face to face. I lost MY shit. "What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid mother-fucker?" "Get on your fucking radio and call my partner a fucking ambulance, you dumb son of a bitch..." I continued offering variations on that theme until the ambulance arrived and took care of my worker. The two cops slinked off as I got Billy into my meat wagon. Simi-composed, went in and spoke to Billy's parents.

I apologized to the parents and explained why I had torn into the cops. They told me that the detectives were pushing Billy's body back and fourth and making jokes, when they didn't think the parents could hear them. I suggested they call the Chief of Police and the Sheriff's office and complain. They apparently did complain, but nothing happened.

When I got Billy upon a table in our embalming room I jumped back in the car and drove to the ER, after calling the kid's parents and telling them about his injury. My employee looked like he had taken a bat to the forehead. They had just finished X-Rays and were getting ready to sew him up. When his parents arrived, I told them what was going on and that the mortuary would pay for everything.
His father had great insurance thru his work and waved my offer off.

My next stop was the Police Department. I went in and spoke to the watch commander and told him the story. Twice during my complaint, he yawned and was looking around the room. I knew my complaint was going nowhere and that the Chief was just as big an asshole as the W/C was.

After I told the Mortuary owner what happened. I was reamed by him for possibly upsetting the cops and possibly reducing the number of bodies that were referred to us by the cops. I nearly quit, right then and there. Only the very recent birth of my second son, and the resultant expenses, kept me employed. It was still several years before I became a cop and had different BS to deal with.

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dastiffy

05/14/2018 05:04



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Charredtorso said :

05/14/2018

The Chief of Police, Parker, approved EVERY script
of every episode of Dragnet. If Parker didn't like
something it was changed or the script was scrapped.

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UKChrissie

05/13/2018 16:07





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Dipshit

05/13/2018 15:43

An incredible story.Thanks for sharing pal.

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