Kaotic Joke Contest!
the teacher asks the children to make suggestions for the words "yellow" "green" and "pink"
says Anna,my car is yellow
bravoAnna says the teacher
the grass is green
bravo John said the teacher and so ....
All the students went and Jack was the last one
the teacher tells him....Jack go ahead , make a suggestion but do not use a bad language because I'm afraid you will ...
Jack says 'no this timew please let me say
Teacher says 'ok go ahead''
So Jack goes, ...(he pretend he was holding his phone in his ear and goes)
green greeen greeen greeen(phone sound)
yellow?? yellow ??????
who is it 3 oclock in the morning???
and closed the phone!!
Whats the difference between a pair of tights an a cop car ????
You can only fit one cunt in a pair of tights
Whats the difference between a truck full of sand an a truck full of babies ???
You cant get sand out with a pitchfork
Ok. I'm going for the winner now.
You know like when you're driving high speed on the highway, there are flies and bugs crashing all over your windshield?
Well... What is, the very last thing, that goes through the mind of a fly, when crashing against your windshield?
if you know a chick with small tits and a big ass say hey i know an old trick to make your tits bigger no really just take some toilet paper and wrap it around your hand a few times then every night before bed rub it between your tits..... she will say bullshit that will not work then you say well it sure worked on that ass didnt it
Spider was hanging from edge of cloud way up high. He couldnt jump because the drop would have killed him. He decided to spin some web and lower himself to ground.
At the point where there was 1 km to ground the spider begun to get weak and thought that the drop is still too big. The spider was hardcore little spider and he managed to push 200m more of web.. THEn he was totally exhausted and world was still so so far away and suddenly a voice rumbled from the skies: Stiffy, Stiffy! WAKE UP! You have once again shitted the whole bed!!
An old couple are driving home from a wedding when they get pulled over, the cop comes to the window and says your taillight is out. The man says he checks the lights every time he gets in the car. His wife leans over and says I've been telling him for two weeks to fix the light. He looks at her and yells at her to shut the fuck up your only making matters worse and she shuts up. The cop then asks why he isn't wearing a seatbelt and the man replied I took it off to get my wallet out of my pocket. His wife leans over and say I've been telling him to wear his seatbelt for 20 years, 20 years I've been telling him that. The man looks over and says I told you before to shut the fuck up now shut the fuck up cause now your really making things worse and again she shuts up. The cop walked back to his car and Writes him up for the light and the seatbelt. He comes back to the car and says here's your ticket sir and then leans in and asks the wife if he always talks to her like that and she says no only when he's drunk!
This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this straight. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the ******* glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his ******' *** off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You ******* idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, $300." And the bartender's like, "What the **** are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 apiece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."
Dastiffy and all the Kaotic Mods decided to go to the Eat My Beef Steakhouse for their weekly feast.
"What ya havin chubby" the waitress says to Dastiffy
"32oz rib eye, bitch" says Dastiffy
waitress says "what about the vegetables"
Dastiffy says "they will have the same"