MAKE IT VIRAL:
a story by Charredtorso
I had just graduated from Mortuary College (yes, there are several) and was working in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles. At this point, I had been working in Mortuaries for four years and was tired of the profession. I wanted to be a cop, but was way out of shape, had high blood pressure and was borderline obese. I had developed friends in the San Fernando Police Department and I hoped that through some miracle, they would hire me as a cop.
This was way back in the early 70's and police and police work was much more "relaxed" than it is now. I went on frequent ride a longs with my San Fernando Cop friends. On a Saturday night, the little city was jumping. 90% of the population was Mexican, with 505 of those people illegally in the USA. Back then, illegals were detained and driven to the border within 24 hours, without hearings, appeals and observing their "immigrant rights."
The cops got a call of a burglar "there now" at a dry cleaners in town. A close examination indicated the burglar had chopped a hole in the cleaners roof and entered the business. There were only two cops on the call. The other two cops were working a DUI crash with injuries. One cop got a bright Idea: "Let's let ___________ here cover the front door with a shotgun and we'll go in from the roof.
So there I stood with a Remington 870 shotgun, behind a black and white, parked at an angle in front of the business. This was real for me and I started to sweat.
About a minute later I heard the cops yelling and crashing around in the cleaners. Then I heard a lot of noise and then it got real quiet. Out of no where, a Mexican flew head first through the locked door of the business. Having watched ADAM-12 50+ times, I knew what to do. I shouted FREEZE as loud as I could, racked a round into the shotgun chamber and lined up on Julio. I popped the safety off and as Julio kept charging, slack drew up on the trigger of the thunder stick.
A bellow, like the voice of God, caused me to pause. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't shoot him....." The two cops flew out the front door and grabbed Julio protectively. The cops thought it would be funny to push Julio out the front door, just to scare the shit out of me. They figured I would panic or freeze myself. It was only then that I noticed Julio was handcuffed behind his back. His eyes were as big as tennis balls and I am sure my eyes weren't much smaller.
One of the cops snatched the gauge away from me and unloaded it. We began to see the humor, just as the field supervisor rolled up. The cops told their supervisor what was so funny and he got a laugh out of it too. He told me I would make a good cop, if I dumped about 50 pounds. Then he told the cops that if I had turned Julio wrong side out, his relatives would have claimed he was going to medical school and the PD would get sued for millions.
A year later, I was hired by S.F.P.D. I showed up at the station, with my girlfriend to be sworn in, before going to the police academy. The Watch Commander told me that a cadet, currently in the academy, had faked a home invasion robbery at his house and gave himself a self inflicted grazing wound. When the cops figured out the scam, the department decided to evaluate their hiring process. As a result, myself and two other candidates got "shit canned". "You are welcome to start over and re-apply in six months or so." I never entered the police station again.
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