MAKE IT VIRAL:
a story by Charredtorso
A co worker and I were dispatched to a home in the North end of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. This was a very nice section of the valley, with 2 million dollar homes as the norm. We rolled up to a circular driveway that was knee deep in grass, weeds and old newspapers. There were cars parked all over the driveway and the front lawn, people were running around the property like it was a giant ant hill.
I tried to get a couple that was dragging a big leather arm chair out to a rental van. "No time, no time." and off they ran to the van. Near the front door, we were almost knocked down by people pushing and pulling on a large oil painting. As near as I could figure out, they were all family and screaming at each other in Armenian. The house was being looted and fought over by a batched of well dressed Armenian idiots.
We worked our way inside the house. I tried to get someone to stop their looting and talk to me. The best I got was directions upstairs to where the body was. We found dad in what must have been the master bed room. There, on a cheap ass single bed, without any sheets on it, was a 75 pound skeleton of a man, he had been dead for several hours. The drawers on his bedside table were all opened and contents scattered on the floor. Clothing and other items that were in a dresser were tossed around and a huge closet had been emptied out, leaving only a few coat hangersand some old clothing on the floor.
Suddenly, a woman in her 40's, wearing the official post 40's Armenian woman's outfit (Black everything) burst into the room. I tried to talk to her and she ran for the door. "If you don't talk to me, I am calling L.A.P.D." A look of panic covered her face....."I go, I go, what do you want?" I managed to get the basic vital information I needed, before she bolted out the door and back downstairs.
We watched from the top of the stairs as this family stripped everything out of the house. One member had hired a crew of Mexicans to move stuff to his rental van. The presence of the Mexicans got everyone screaming at each other. There were 15-20 people fighting over objects and screaming at the top of their lungs at each other. Us Undertakers and the body were ignored.
My partner and I retreated to the "meat wagon" and just sat there for 15 minutes, hoping things would calm down as the large home was picked clean. No such luck, every time a fresh object was dragged out of the house, another brawl started. Finally, with no end to the madness in sight, we got our cot, weaved through the brawls and went upstairs. In our absence, someone had moved the mattress, looking for goodies to plunder. Dad was wrapped in a sheet and placed on the cot and we carried him down stairs.
It was like the scene in the cowboy movies when the sheriff walks into the saloon. Everyone stopped yelling, screaming, pushing and pulling. It was DEAD QUIET for about 30 seconds, then all hell broke loose. EVERYONE, men and women, completely lost their collective shit. They all rushed our mortuary cot, screaming at the top of their lungs. The cot was knocked over and Dad spilled on to the floor. Both men and women DOVE onto the body, howling like they were on fire, they all wanted to pull on Dad!
After about 5 minutes, we got the cot upright and got Dad back on the cot and buckled in. The second we cleared the door frame, headed towards our car, the yelling and brawling started all over again. The Mexicans were all enjoying the spectacle as much as my partner and I. On the way to the mortuary, I asked my co worker: "What do you like to drink?" "Screwdrivers" "Let's get a half pint and some orange juice....we need a drink!"
The next day, most of the family showed up to make funeral arrangements. None of the 7 adult children wanted to pay for the funeral. Finally they bought the cheapest particle board casket for $95. and spent $200 on a blanket of roses to cover up how cheap they all were. It turned out that Dad owned a huge carpet business in downtown and was worth several million dollars. Amazing.
For a fraction of the money you're asking i could get a much newer one.
SEX & WEED
I WOULD BREAKDOWN TOO IF THIS LEAKED
THIS WILL BE DELETED SOON
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HOOKER AND AN ESCORT
SOME SAY THIS IS EVIL. THEY'RE RIGHT
FETISHING GONE WRONG
I LOVE SPRING BREAK