SHE LOOKS FINE, YOU ASSHOLE

Submitted on 02/03/2018 by: Wicked
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a story by Charredtorso

Right out of Mortuary College, I went to work for a mortuary in Los Angeles. The manager of the funeral home was deeply involved in local politics and service clubs. One afternoon they brought in a 19 year old daughter of one of his political buddies. The night before she had snuck out of the house and went for a ride with her dirt bag biker boyfriend, against here parent's wishes. He dumped the bike on the freeway with the cops chasing him, she flew off and hit the edge of the guardrail on the fly. A free autopsy rounded out her evening at the Coroner's office and her dream date.

The manager wanted me to fix her up "just like new". So, fresh out of Mortuary Collage and eager to impress my employer, I got busy. Her head was crushed flat from the crown to the bridge of her nose. The autopsy left me a shattered skull with pieces no bigger than 2X1 inches. I started by embalming her and went on to do the reconstructive "surgery". I began around 2 pm and finished at around midnight. The following morning, I dressed her and we had a hairdresser do her hair and cosmetics, over the the restorative work I had done. She looked good, but not like she did when she got on that bike.

That afternoon, her parents showed up to see her. I explained the extent of her injuries and gave them a general idea of the 10+ hours of work I put in to repair the damage. I told them that she would not look like she did the last time they saw her. With that caveat, I escorted them into the viewing room.

A few minutes later, dad marched out of the room and looked pissed. Oh shit, here we go..... "I don't know why you got us all upset over the way our daughter would look." "She looks fine, like she is sleeping." "You are an asshole for making up that story....."

I took Dad's comments as an off handed compliment on my restorative work. I only wish I took a before picture to show him. My employer had seen her and tried to tell him the same thing. He didn't want to listen. Welcome to the big leagues junior.

18 confirmed

02/04/2018 03:21

Fuck it if dad can't take a joke.......should of folded her.... where her ass was where her face should be........I bet it would look wonderful......

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Darkwolfe

02/04/2018 00:54

The manager wanted me to fix her up "just like new".

Hey that's what I said after I wrecked my Camaro back in the 90's.
Yeah, that car didn't look the same afterward either. Unlike super-dad here though, I actually spent enough time with mine to know what it looked like

Great story - thanks!

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StabbyTheClown

02/03/2018 23:36

I just realized that you and I have a Ying and Yang thing going on here brother.
I "take them apart" and you put them back together.
Glad to help with the job security.

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Charredtorso

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Strikeatic

02/03/2018 20:21

Fuck aye...

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StabbyTheClown

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