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03/17/2018 17:44


I was making funeral arrangements for a woman that had died of breast cancer. While I was working with the family, they warned me of the deceased's ex-husband. They said she had divorced him a few years back because of the serious mental issues he had. He had spent a year in a psychiatric hospital, following a severe beating he had committed on his then wife. Up until she went to the hospital with terminal cancer, the ex constantly annoyed her and her family. He vandalized her house and made numerous threats against all of their lives.

On the day of the woman's viewing, I brought her family into the visitation room and made sure they were happy with her appearance. Then I went back to my work office for some paperwork. A few minutes later, our receptionist called me in a panic over our intercom line. "The ex husband is here and he is fighting with the family...." I dialed 911, recited the alphabet backwards, provided the content of my last three meals, gave them my social security number in Hindi and begged them to show up, at least with an hour or two. Then I rushed to the front of the Mortuary.

There was an actual brawl in progress. Women were actively swinging, right along with the men, at
a very well groomed and well dressed man. He was not what I would envision as a bat-shit crazy individual. On closer examination, he was jabbing at the family members with a large sized syringe.
Three of us, including one of my co-workers, grabbed the ex and got the syringe away from him. It took six of us to shove and half carry him out into the parking lot. Where are the frigging cops?

The ex saw the approaching cop car and drove off the parking lot and into the adjacent cemetery. The cops got out of their car and asked what happened, got everyone's personal biography and drove off in the opposite direction. I checked everyone for puncture wounds and asked them WTF had just occurred?

The family walked me back to the viewing room and up to the casket. The deceased had her blouse unbuttoned down to her skirt and the bra she was wearing was pushed up to her arm pits. One of her breasts had been removed a few years back. Her other breast was still intact, but had cancerous nodules just under the skin.

When the family calmed down enough to talk, they told me the ex had walked into the viewing room, told the gathered family that he had a cure for her cancer and had injected an unknown substance into the deceased's breast, before they could stop him. At that point, the fight was on. I called the
PD in question and was told that injecting a corpse wasn't really a crime. They went on to tell me that since no one was injured "very much", they were not going to file criminal charges.

The family and I were pissed beyond reason. I got mom dressed again and asked the cops if they wanted the syringe. The cops told me I was being a nuisance and to drop the matter. A month later, when a family member showed up to get certified copies of the death certificate, the ex had apparently made the error of attacking two cops when they stopped him for a traffic violation. He was
in the jail ward at the county hospital, in a coma.

Thomek Thom

03/17/2018 07:58



03/16/2018 19:48

You're welcome, buddy.
Videos of this country are everywhere and I totally understand when someone posts some incorrect information, it's so much violence that it's hard to know what really happened


03/16/2018 19:22


03/16/2018 17:10

The illustrations you provide are priceless, thanks


03/16/2018 17:07


Our Kaotic friend Darkwofle inquired as to the factors involved in decomposition. Whole and entire books have been written on the topic. I will try to "boil it down" to a few paragraphs. I know most people will not read more than a paragraph or two.

Within minutes of death, everything starts the decomposition process. Without fresh blood and various bodily processes in action, things start breaking down in the body. This breakdown (autolysis)
turns almost everything into fluid or gasses. Skin, as an example, begins forming blisters from fluid breakdown of tissues. The digestive tract begins to form gasses, causing that bloated appearance. Blood begins to pool, forming dark discolorations, gasses and different liquids. Bacteria, left unchecked by the body's systems grow rapidly, forming gasses and fluids.

Some of the factors that will effect decomposition rates are; the ambient temperature where the death occurs. Generally, the warmer the temperature, the quicker the rate of decomp. The cooler temperatures slow down or almost stop decomposition. Clothing or lack of same effect the body's temperature. Body fat content, the more fat the quicker the autolysis. Cause of death can effect the decomp rate too. Volumes could be written on cause of death alone, effecting the decomp rate.

We can't forget our friends the maggots. Maggots are fly larvae, laid by flies in and on the body.
Most maggots are laid in the corners of the eyes, nose or mouth. Depending on exposures, they can be laid in other bodily entries. Trauma will expose more tissue to maggot infestation, it's like a buffet for flies.

Obvious signs of decomposition will often occur within 72 hours of death. Maggots can be laid and start developing within as little as an hour of death. Different types of flies lay eggs in different parts of the body and have different times of gestation from eggs to maggots. Autolysis often starts in the brain and genitals (for real). This appears an an "erection" or eyes will appear to "Bug Out" of their sockets as pressure from the decomposing brain is forced into the back of the eye sockets.

The above is a VERY quick and dirty outline of decomposition. So now, when you see a discolored, bloated body with bugged out eyes and an erection. You will have a basic understanding of what is going on. Remember, maggots and vermin are your friends.



03/15/2018 13:06


Our Kaotic friend Grann asked about people I have worked with that tried to kill themselves.
Most of the following only managed to put a new hole in themselves or do other temporary
damage. I won't elaborate on cop suicides, I have been around far too many.

The first one that comes to mind was a love sick Embalmer. He fell in love with a topless dancer at
a club near where we worked. True to her craft, she took him for every penny he had, then moved on to the next idiot. He showed up at the topless bar one night, just after closing and found the love of his life orally copulating an Afro-American gentlemen in a parked car. Rather than beating the shit out of the stripper, he went home to his apartment above the mortuary.

After a trip down to the preparation room to get a bottle of Cavity Embalming Chemicals, he got comfortable on his couch. "Cavity Fluid" is a very potent batch of chemicals designed to preserve internal organs. It contains formaldehyde, various alcohols and other chemicals deigned to preserve human guts, not for live consumption. Our love sick Embalmer, somehow drank most of the bottle! How he managed to swallow more than a mouth full is beyond my comprehension. The smell alone from the caustic chemical is enough to fry your sinuses and burn the back of your throat. A few minutes later, he had cooked his esophagus and couldn't even vomit up the nasty chemicals. He managed to croak out a phone call to his mother, who in turn called 911. A 10 day stay in the hospital got him back and Embalming, then on to the next dancer.

Cops and guns go together, often with harmful results. When I was a ghetto gun slinger, two of our "Range Masters" shot themselves in the hand while loading/unloading a Glock pistol. I was offered all of the training and prestige of becoming a range master, but declined because I didn't want to shoot my hand. I know of several other officers that shot their leg with the same type of weapon. I worked with another officer that shot himself in the face, resulting in a very cool scar across his cheek bone. He said it was an accident, but had money, women and alcohol issues........

Armed security guards are a serious danger to themselves too. Guards run the range between retired or off duty cops, to knuckle dragging morons that can barely write their name, yet are armed to the teeth. I watched a uniformed guard stab himself in the thigh on a dare from a fellow officer. He used a writing pen and managed to penetrate 2 inches into his leg. When a guard found out I was an off duty cop, he challenged me to a quick draw" competition. When I declined, he showed me a 1/2 inch wide 8 inch long scar on the outside of his calf from a previous quick draw contest.

I watched a cop demolish his black and white and break his shoulder, arm and wrist, he also managed to break his partner's nose. He was passing my unit, like it was parked, at about 80, to get to a "naked woman" call. He ran a light and T-Boned a big truck. The naked woman turned out to be a 400 pounder that was indeed naked, but had defalcated and urinated all over herself, high on drugs.

There must be 50 more stories that will pop into my fetid mind about the short comings of my co workers. If any are really impressive, I will write about them.


03/15/2018 11:34

Same video was posted twice


03/13/2018 00:00


Late one PM shift, my partner and I were finishing up a cluster DUI report. Graveyard and PM's had a 2 hour overlap because that was when we were the busiest. It was kind of quiet, even for a mid week night and we were overdue for some major drama. A graveyard unit went into a foot pursuit related to an attempt rape and assault with a deadly weapon. We jumped into our unit an headed for the chase.

At the time, the area was plagued by "The Westside Rapist." He was a male Black that hid out in apartment buildings and waited for single women to come home and unlock their doors, force them inside and assault them at knife point. We thought we were zeroing in on the West Side Rapist.

Home boy was fleet of foot. By the time my partner and I arrived, there were 10 cops chasing this guy around a group of heavily populated apartment buildings. We joined the chase and cornered the suspect in the corner of an apartment car port. He had his trusty buck knife out and everyone was yelling for him to drop the knife.

It was a scene right out of a movie. Thee huffing and puffing suspect was dirty and covered with sweat and he was waving his knife around, looking for a place to run. "DROP THE KNIFE, DROP THE KNIFE.....DROP THE KNIFE MOTHERFUCKER!" I had my sights locked on to the middle of his chest.
As often happens, I was fighting off tunnel vision and all the sounds around me began to fade. I tried to focus on my Glock 17's front sight and control my breathing.........

"IM A GONNA KILL ALL YA ALL MOTHERFUCKERS." With that the suspect lunged at the crowd of cops.
I could feel the slack drawing on my trigger and was waiting for the jolt of a 9mm Hydra-Shock round leaving the barrel and plowing into home boy's guts.

At the very last possible instant, a brand new trainee side stepped in front of me. The "boot" cop was a millisecond from getting the back of his head and his face blown out. I held my fire, but the rest of the cop's didn't. Nine cops shot within a second or two, turning home boy into instant rehabilitation.
From his bellybutton to the top of his head, the wanna be rapist was shot to shit.

Everybody, including my partner had to go back to the station to be interviewed. "Officer (ME), why didn't you shoot?" "Sir an other officer stepped into my line of fire." I didn't want to rat the boot off.
He was a good kid and became a great cop. A few nights later, we had a quiet conversation and I told him how close he came to meeting Jesus. He thanked me profusely for not killing him or ratting him off to anyone.

Once again, because I didn't shoot, I was relegated to guarding the dead body. There was so much violence in town, no one was curious enough to wander out to gawk at the dead body until they were leaving for work in the early am. The field Sargent got my jacket, a large coffee and 6 donuts plus 6 hours overtime..... Sweet!


03/11/2018 11:47

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