Wicked is online (last seen at 3:51 pm, 17 Jul 2018)
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tkc

07/16/2018 23:04

Ok

UKChrissie

07/16/2018 07:35

Meme for Charred's "GENTLEMEN, THIS AIN'T FUNNY" Story.



UKChrissie

07/16/2018 02:24

Meme for Charred's "WANNA BE IN A MOVIE" story



Charredtorso

07/14/2018 15:53

WANNA BE IN A MOVIE?


I was riding with my friend that was a Deputy Sheriff in Ventura County, just North of Los Angeles County. (The same one that told a woman I was a Doctor.) It was around 8:30 pm and already dark, when we got a complaint about lights in a back yard. We rolled up to a very nice home and spoke to the complainant. The back yard of the house behind his was lit up like a baseball field. We couldn't see what was going on because of a 12 foot high fence surrounding the property.

A few minutes later we stopped in front of the house in question. There were several big trucks parked in front of the property, the kind they transport movie production equipment in. Our knock on the door was answered promptly by a straight guy with a clip board. "Hi Officers, I thought you were the pizza guy, we ordered several pizzas..."

My friend started to explain the purpose of our visit, when the guy handed him a permit to shoot a movie at that specific address. The permit allowed them to shoot until 11pm and to use outdoor lighting until that time. We were just getting ready to leave, when the pizza guy arrived with all sorts of Italian food, soft drinks and some wine. "Officers, would you like to stay for some dinner?"

My friend would eat dog turds if they were free and had cheese on them. "SURE!" We helped carry the food into the house and carried it into a large living room with several folding tables set up in it.
I thought I was hallucinating. Two incredibly hot women walked in absolutely BUCK NAKED. They saw my partner's uniform. "OOooooh Officer, I've been bad, you'd better cuff me." an Asian woman and a young Black girl walked in, only the Asian was wearing a short robe opened in the front. "Hi guys!" All either of us could do was nod our heads.

The guy with the clipboard called all of the cast and crew in for a meal break. There were the camera guys, lighting, sound, script, make up girls and several naked guys that covered up when they saw us standing there in shock. We had blundered into a big PORN shoot! No one paid any attention to their naked co-workers. After a few minutes, they ignored my friend and I and started talking shop and stuffing their faces.

With pizza in hand, we wandered out onto the "set", made up of a big pool and several lounge chairs.
Our attention was drawn to a naked "actor" on her knees, blowing some guy that wasn't part of the "actors." They both waved and went back to their entertainment.

We were at the "set" for about 20 minutes. One of the naked females asked me if I wanted to be in the movie. I got a laugh from the crew when I said I didn't know if I could last through the rehearsal.... We thanked everyone for their hospitality and the offer of stardom. My cop buddy was in a Polaroid with two of the "Actresses", but he talked them into putting on robes. It was a delightful evening. It took hours for the smiles to wear off our faces. I am smiling as I write this, many years later.

We drove back to the reporting parties house and told them the lighting was for a movie and that they had all of their permits. We chose not to specify as to the sort of movie that was being filmed.

Charredtorso

07/14/2018 15:22

How come some of my posts go up instantly and others take several minutes
or never appear?

Charredtorso

07/13/2018 17:33

GENTLEMEN, THIS AIN'T FUNNY



I had just moved my family up to the Central coast of California to manage a mortuary. My employer waited until I got all moved in and took off on a well deserved weekend off. It was Friday afternoon and I got a call from the Sheriff's sub-station to meet them and the Highway Patrol at a highway construction site two miles outside of town. They were widening the two lane road and there was construction equipment parked everywhere.

I rolled up to where the cop cars were. I introduced myself to the Sheriff's Deputy and the CHP officer. The Sheriff's Coroner investigators were no where to be found. After the introductions were completed, we got down to business. "So, where is the victim?" "Right here." There was a tarp covering an emergency blanket behind the rear wheel of a huge Caterpillar earth mover. The tires on this monster were 8-10 feet high and 3-4 feet wide.

Everyone was all smiles and giggles, so I figured they were fucking with the new undertaker in town. Gentlemen, I've got better things to do right now, ya got me this time....." The CHP officer pulled back the tarp, that was laying flat on the hard pack dirt. There, before Allah and his Prophet, was the absolutely flat remains of a surveyor. His head was crushed and spread out to about 18 inches wide. Some of his internal organs had been squished out of his rectum in the instant before the massive tire mashed his entire body.

The foreman of the construction project was standing near by and had to be helped to the front seat of a cop car to avoid him hitting the ground. Other workers turned away from their pancaked co-worker. "Boys, this is the worst heart attack I have ever seen...." I promptly lapsed into big city coroner's investigator and conducted myself in a professional manor.

The body was so embedded into the hard pack that I had to borrow a shovel to pry the remains out of the ground. (They didn't want their shovel back, so I got a free one.) The tripod and the survey device were embedded into the deceased's body and I extracted them back at the funeral home.

According to witnesses, the surveyor either didn't hear or ignored the loud BEEP BEEP BEEP of the massive earth mover backing up. The rule is: huge assed trucks ALWAYS have the right of way. By the time the surveyor realized his error, he was a fritter.

The surveyor's wife and family showed up for funeral arrangements the next day. To my relief, they were not Hispanic and did not demand to see him. They had a family friend go back and view him on their behalf.

That section of the highway work was completed a few months later. Every time I drove across that part of the road, I thought of the surveyor that had been turned into a giant pizza.






0
'

Charredtorso

07/13/2018 04:31

Wicked
The story you want me to tittle has already been posted by you
under the tittle of FAMILY VALUES.

Brazilian

07/12/2018 06:47

Also, why i'm always logged off from the site?

Brazilian

07/11/2018 11:46

It looks like a guy but it was a girl, a dyke i suppose. The case was pretty famous here because of the brutality.

UKChrissie

07/11/2018 07:12

Oh My God!! The Poor Creature had Scared the Poo out of itself!!

  • avatar
    Brazilian Tinder...fuck that.
    07/17/2018 15:56
  • avatar
    I love it,they had it on camera
    07/17/2018 15:53
  • avatar
    Chimps will be chimps.
    07/17/2018 15:50
  • avatar
    At least they won the World Cup.As did this fucking moron...for fucking stupid.
    07/17/2018 15:49
  • avatar
    They always killing people in that way. I guess they never use their guns. Their guns are getting rust.
    07/17/2018 15:00
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