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08/18/2018 15:13


We get a house call (a person dies at home) in a relatively affluent area of Los Angeles. There are some cops and several neighbors milling around the front door of a well kept house. We walked into
the house and could immediately smell a decomposed body. The cops just shook their heads and stood back to let us do our thing.

The new widow was howling like she was on fire. Her neighbors were unable to comfort her or shut her up. After about 15 minutes of her snotting and crying, I was able to determine that her husband had died SIX DAYS EARLIER. First, she was afraid to call the ambulance, she didn't want to make him mad if he wasn't really sick. Then, when he quit moving, she decided he needed rest(?) So she didn't try to wake him up or feed him for the next five days and nights. A neighbor showed up at the house and smelled Hubby, then called 911.

Naturally, it was summer and the body was bloated, stunk, blistered and popped in bed. Mom (late 40's) slept next to him every night and would have continued to do so if the neighbor didn't show up. Dad, according to the neighbor, was a domineering asshole. The wife wasn't allowed out of the house unless he took her. She barely knew how to dial her phone and knew nothing about the family finances and had never paid a bill. When we suggested she get rid of the putrid mattress, she asked "Why?"

Fortunately, some relative showed up to help her with the funeral and how to run a house. Over the years, I ran into several people that were too sheltered, ignorant or stupid to figure out the most basic of human activities.


08/18/2018 13:24


I worked for a year as the night embalmer for a chain of mortuaries in Los Angeles county. My job was to embalm bodies that were delivered to any of the 12 locations scattered around Los Angeles,
from Compton to Mission Hills, from Arcadia to South Central Los Angeles. I had many adventures during that year. I was shot at, hit on by hookers, threatened, broke up fights and rapes. I could go on and on.

My shift ran from 6pm to 6am. I was told not to screw around and to embalm as many bodies as I could fit into the 12 hour shift. Driving 100 miles and embalming only three bodies would be considered a slow night. One night my travels took me to Highland Park, where the "Stuck in the middle with you" scene from Resevour Dogs was filmed a few years later. If you look carefully, you can see a couple of caskets stacked on end and the preparation room....

I arrived at the mortuary a little after 6pm and already had a full schedule of embalming at several locations. I Arrived to find a body wrapped in plastic from the coroner's office. The wrapping revealed a young woman 18-20. She looked like she had been thrown into some sort of shredder. From the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, there were gaping wounds, most of them occurred after she was dead. On top of the wounds, she had been autopsied.

I called my dispatcher and told him that I would be busy with the body in question for several hours and I would not be able to get all of the embalming done. The dispatcher threw a fit and accused me of "fucking off". I went up to the front office of the mortuary and dug around in drawers until I found a Polaroid Camera. I went back to the prep room and took several photos of the body from all angles. I knew there were going to be problems with my employer and the dispatcher. To do my work properly it was going to take 4-6 hours to complete.

I was doing my primary assessment of the body and trying to figure out where to start, when I got a phone call from the dispatcher. He had the parents of the girl on the table on the phone and they were demanding to see her and/or talk to the embalmer. I didn't want to, but I waited for the call transfer.

Mom and Dad were upper middle class people that lived up on top of a hill near the mortuary. Apparently, their young and pretty daughter met a young Negro gentlemen and to teach er parents a lesson in Social Justice, started dating him. Two weeks later, she ran away from home and moved in with her new BF. Almost immediately, her BF began beating the shit out of her and within days was pimping her out on Figureoa Avenue. She called her parents and cried about her lot in life, but refused to leave the pimp or contact the cops.

The cops told the parents that two days before I met their daughter, her loving BF had taken exception to her lack of prostitutional productivity. He had taken an E-Tool (folding shovel) and beaten her to death, then dumped her naked, chopped up all to shit body in a parking lot and departed.

The parents were devastated and pissed. They wanted to see her immediately. As tactfully as I could, I tried to explain how badly she had been hacked up. I managed to put them off until after she had been prepared, dressed and had her hair and make up done. I did not present a pretty mental picture for them.

Without going into a batch of boring detail, a regular autopsied body takes 90-120 minutes to embalm and sew up. Because of all the damage done to this girl's body, it took over 2 hours to embalm the body and another 4 hours to sew up all of the slices in this young woman's mortal remains. I placed well over 500 sutures to close the numerous wounds.

The dispatcher for the mortuaries started calling me every 15-30 minutes. I would have to remove my embalming apron and autopsy gloves, answer the phone and put everything back on again. After the 4th call, I quit answering his calls, so he let the phone ring and repeat 20-30 times.

When I was finally done, my hands hurt form all of the suturing I had done. I called the dispatcher, cussed him out and took the rest of the night off, just to cause him hysteria. The next day I was scheduled to work, I was summoned to the Vice President of Personnel's office. He was all set to ream me a new asshole and fire or suspend me without pay. told him about the condition of the body in question, he refused to believe me until I produced the photos I had taken. Then I told him what kind of an asshole the dispatcher was and how he had slowed down my work and harassed me.

Gee, only another 18 years in that proud profession. What was I thinking when I became a cop?


08/16/2018 00:44

Great photo for the Fire story!


08/11/2018 10:51

Yo Wicked, You pretty much own kaotic lol. Just a thanks for the vids brah


08/10/2018 03:38


08/09/2018 13:30


Right out of briefing, my partner and I received a "ride a long." This guy was in his early 20's and worked in a small town in Kansas as a police officer. He had traveled out to Los Angeles for a family vacation with his in laws and didn't want to go on some BS movie star home tour, the rest of the family wanted to go on. He asked the hotel staff where the cops were busy and wound up with us.

We had just loaded our gear in the car and didn't even have time to give our guest a "safety speech",
when we got a shot's fired call about a block from the station. "The Brother's Barber Shop" had claimed another innocent victim.

Brothers Barber shop had been at their downtown location since they invented hair. After being robbed and assaulted several times, the two owners installed cameras and got training in the use of firearms. The brothers went as far as telling the cops they were tired of getting shot at, pistol whipped and robbed and in the future would be protecting themselves.

By the time Shaquando and his baby mama, Clamedia, entered the shop. The brothers had shot and klled 3 robbers and wounded several more. If the happy couple had done their homework, they would have robbed any place other than Brother's Barber Shop. Shaquando announced the couple's intent and both produced hand guns. Before they could shout Jessie Jackson, the two shop owners had double tapped the young lovers.

Clamedia's head had busted open like a rotten egg. Shaquando had taken a round in his cheek bone
and another in his blood pump. The look of surprise on his face was worth the price of admission. The co-owners of the shop knew the drill. They placed their weapons on the coffee table in the shop
and patiently waited, with their hands in the air for the cops to arrive. Best of all, it was all on camera.

After the dust settled, we let our ride a long go inside the yellow crime scene tape to gawk. Within seconds, we were dispatched to an assault in progress at one of our two gay bars in town. It was mid afternoon on a weekday, but the bar was crowded with black homosexuals and a few white boys that wanted the licorice stick. We never had problems at these bars. If there was drama, their bouncers took care of 99% of the problems.

The bar manager told us that they had a problem child that they kicked out several times and he kept coming back into the bar. He pointed out the guy in question, standing in the parking lot. When we approached him, I knew he was high as a kite on E or Molly, take your pick. Before I could finish my trespass warning, precious tried to grab my junk! He got a good roundhouse right to the side of his head and went down like he was head shot. Half the gay guys in the bar, along with the manager were standing behind my partner, the ride a long and I. "That's right officer, beat that bitches ass, he deserves it!"

Precious got up and staggered off the property. Before we could grab and arrest him, we got another call to assist with traffic control at a car crash with injuries. When we rolled up to the crash, it was a "Doozie". Somehow, two vans packed with people collided. One van was full of Japanese tourists and the other had several mentally handicapped adults in it. The Japs sat quietly and bled, while the mentally handicapped went full on bat-shit. Our traffic investigator had his hands full. We spent 45 minutes calming the injured and directing the gawkers through the intersection.

We were told to break away from the crash and respond to a robbery in progress. The Korean owner/clerk at Nate's Liquor was punching the shit out of a would be robber as we rushed into the store. Nate had been a Korean Marine and was as tuff as a dollar steak. Homeboy got off one shot at Nate and Nate cleaned his clock until we arrived. Another unit took the call for training, so we took off for a family disturbance.

Two women were standing out in the courtyard of a dilapidated apartment building. One of the women was so pissed and out of control, all she could do was HOOT and make noises like a gut shot Gibbon. The woman's daughter had to translate her mother's noises. The other party involved was unleashing a nonstop stream of the most vile profanity you could imagine. I glanced at our ride a long officer and I thought I could see blood leaking out of his ears. By the time we got everyone involved back in their cages and quiet, we were only 4 hours into the shift.

We finally had some time to talk to our visitor from Kansas. He said he was thinking about moving to California so he could do some real "hook and book" police work. However, after 4 hours with us on a week day, he decided he was happy where he was in Kansas. We explained that it got much busier on the weekends and late at night. "It gets crazier than this?" "Oh yeah, much crazier...."

And so the afternoon turned into night and it did get crazier. Call after call after call, we didn't get to eat until around 10 pm. To his credit, our ride a long hung in there with us until the end of the shift. He looked like a kid pulling into a toy store parking lot on his birthday, when we got to the station just before 1 am. He wanted to pose for pictures with my partner and I in and around our black and white. He shook our hands and thanked us profusely and suggested we stop by his town in Kansas if we needed a good night's rest at about 1/3rd the hourly pay. "Maybe when I retire from here."


08/07/2018 01:43

Where did you find that Tonga Crip Ink???????


08/01/2018 18:59

The Tongan was a Crip. They kidnapped a Blood, beat him
and shot him in the foot for payback....


08/01/2018 18:58

The Taco Bell at the South Pole would be an extreme rarity.
The Tongan was a Crip. After he got shot, they captured a Blood
gang member, beat him and shot him in the foot.


07/30/2018 23:07

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