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I never had any nightmares or bad dreams about my work as a mortician. I would dream I was working, like a shoe salesman might dream about shoes or stocking shelves. Police work and
related activities causes some bad dreams. I would dream I was on a traffic stop that went bad
or my weapon wouldn't shoot at a critical time or I was chasing someone on foot and had to fight them.
My wife learned early not to try to shake me awake form a bad dream. I woke up from a fight dream choking the shit out of her. Now she jumps out of bed and turns on the lights.
SUICIDE IS PAINLESS?
We see a lot of suicides here in Kaotic. I thought I would take a few minutes to share some of the more unusual ways people end their lives, that I have seen and/or investigated.
A hanging I investigated stands out. Apparently, hubby was mad at his wife. To teach her a lesson,
he disconnected all of the phones in his house and rigged a door so that when his wife opened the door, he fell off the chair he was standing on and began hanging. His wife had the chose of trying to suspend him by his flailing legs or run off to try to get help. She ran for the disconnected phone and tried to hold him up, screaming for help all the time.
A friend of mine, working the night shift at a mortuary in Santa Barbara, got an interesting call one night. "Listen to me, I am not going to repeat this." "I am going to kill every fucking thing in this fucking house." He gave my stunned friend the address and told him not to tell the cops to bring any ambulances. True to his word, the caller shot and killed his wife, teenage kids, two dogs, a cat, a parrot and a tank full of fish with a shotgun. He had double tapped everything with 00 buck shot, leaving no need for any medical personnel.
I previously mentioned the Japanese veterinary student that used an electric carving knife on his neck. I had a RETIRED butcher send his daughter a letter telling her to drive to his neighbor's house and to call the cops on arrival. She did as he told her and the caps made entry to his house. The butcher had spread a heavy tarp in his living room, after carefully removing the furniture. He then took his set of Butcher Knives and proceeded to slash his left wrist, left elbow, left Axillary Artery (upper arm) and severed his left Jugular vein. The results were spectacular, Butcher Bob had finished himself off in grand fashion, without a drop of blood on anything but the tarp.
One despondent individual got a "two fer" by pressing his shotgun to his head and pressing his head to his estranged wife's head, then pulling the trigger. The thimble sized slug round took both of their heads off from the ears up. She had gotten tired of him beating him and made the fatal error of saying she was leaving.
Another hanging suicide occurred when I was a cop in the Ghetto. Vasheelo decided he was tired of "the game' and the cops be hate'in on him n shit. So, he climbed up in a pretty high tree, secured some nylon rope to the tree limb and around his neck and took the leap. Again, the results were spectacular. Vasheelo (Swahili for dumb-ass) had planned his exit poorly. The drop was way too long and the nylon rope was too fine. At the bottom of his drop, his head popped off, like he was Guillotined. There was a huge amount of blood sprayed all over his back yard. His baby mama was inconsolable, because she couldn't sue anyone. Neighbors sitting on the fence assumed that the cops had used some sort of silent shotgun and spread that information, resulting on protests and a few rocks and bottles.
We had a "who done it" where a guy wrapped his head in plastic, duct taped around his neck, then handcuffed himself behind his back. He wanted to make it look like a murder, so his wife could get the insurance. But he had locked and dead-bolted the doors and windows from the inside. Fingerprints on the plastic confirmed the manor of death as suicide.
I mentioned, in a previous story a man blowing himself up with dynamite. Another earned honorable mention when he ignited a container of black gun powder. (No, there ain't no WHITE gun powder) Sadly, he only managed to blow off his genitals and destroy several internal organs. He survived and continued his life urinating and defalcating into separate bags.
Cops found two individuals in an apartment unresponsive. There was a half empty bottle of EVERCLEAR, a 190 proof ethanol. The dead one, according to the live one, had continued drinking the almost pure alcohol, until he began bleeding out his nose and ears. Cause of death: Acute alcohol poisoning.
I have investigated several suicides by motorcycle. You take your bike up to as fast as you can go and slam it into a fixed object. We had a guy drive his Harley into his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend's house. When he hit the steps on the porch at about 60 mph, he launched through the front door, down the entry hall , through the drywall and studs and landed on the bed, where the new couple were in restful slumber. It was one of the most impressive globs of gore I have ever seen! Sadly, the bike was a total loss.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR INTERESTS IN DEATH, COP WORK OR EXECUTIVE PROTECTION, PLEASE SEND THEM TO MY IN BOX. CT
Can I send you some stories? Chrisse is missing in action
and I am storing them in my skull.
Always delete, Stiff reposted that Chinese mistress back in the day. Can't remember who posted it first